Day 10... Thankful for grief..
Does that sound crazy? For most it is, but the feeling is coming to me less and less as time goes on from loosing Kyndal a year ago..
Today it came... like a flashflood.. out of nowhere.. ( and it felt good)
I was at the hospital visiting a friend's friend.. who is having a baby soon
( and giving her baby up for adoption to some dear friends)
she is starting to contract and they are monitoring her hoping to hold the baby in there a few more weeks..
she is on complete bedrest but when she was told she could sit up and eat she was super excited. the monitor slipped off the baby and the buzzers started going off... nurses came right in trying to find the baby's heartbeat. I sat there knowing everything was fine.. but all of these memories of me being in a hospital and a nurse searching for Kyndal's heartbeat came flooding to my mind.
I sat and prayed that they would find it... after what seemed like FOREVER.. we heard his heartagain.. and the sounds that come with monitoring.. whew... I felt relieved.
The tears came.. and my friends there were supportive in finding tissue for me.
I feel a special connection with this little guy hearing and seeing his heart beating on the monitor.. I cant wait to hold him.. maybe him and Kyndal are hanging out up there just waiting for the right time to send him down...
So today.. although i had a flood of emotions.. it felt good to cry and have those memories.
4 comments:
I can't even imagine. What a strong mommy you are! Seriously! Who knows why your little family had to go through this, but He knew you could...if for nothing else than to prove his mercy to someone else through you. Someone who may need your comfort someday.
You are amazing!!
I am still following all of your gratefuls and this one especially touched me. You are so strong of spirit, and I appreciate your example. Thank you for being open and honest throughout your journey.
We love you, thanks for being a great friend! I know those two little babies are up there hanging out and lets hope Kyndal can keep him up there a little longer till he is good and ready to come join us! :)
This has me in tears, its always those little things that take us back to that moment. Im glad everything was ok, and that you were with supportive friends! Im sure Kyndal and this sweet baby boy are hanging out together! And yes, sometimes feeling the grief and having a cry does some good to the heart!
Love ya!
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