Little Laundry

The clothes that Kyndal wore in the hospital and her pink and white silky blanket sat in the bag from the funeral home in my room. I just knew it would be hard to look at those clothes, and wash them. I pull them out of the bag, and just sob. I start the washer, and add the soap. The washer looked so empty as I put those few items in. I spray the few stains that were on the clothes and my mom is there to hug me saying she is sorry we have to go through this. Even putting them into the dryer was hard. As mom brought them to me once they were dry, we both cry at how tiny the outfit is. I snap the onesie and lay it on my lap, still in shock that Kyndal will never wear this again, and that she was so small she fit into it just a few weeks ago. It was a newborn size, which I normally never buy, since my kids are normally so large. It fit her perfectly. The white sweater polka dotted dress was perfect. She looked warm and cozy in it. The cute white bow on the front of the dress screamed girly.. She wore a headband and huge flower in her hair the whole time we had her with us. She even had a wardrobe change half way through the professional pics just in case the mammoth of the pink flower was too much. I didnt think so.
Her outfit now sits in a beautiful white box that was given to us by some friends that says "always in our heart".. and then her name on it. Her special blankie sits on top not wanting to squish the outfit or other blanket.
We recieved this blanket from Debra at Kyndal's shower. It was pink and white polka dotted squares and white silky on the back. Case has3 special blankies and as soon as he saw this one he wanted it.. We packed it in our hospital suitcase along with a number of outfits and bows, socks and blankies. ( i just cant have my babies in those hospital onesies) As soon as she was delivered and had a bath, we wrapped her in that blanket and she stayed in it the whole time. It felt so warm and soft.
I asked Debra if she could find another blanket just like the one she gave us so she could be buried in the new one, and we could keep the one that she had been wrapped and held in. She was right near a target, and ventured in. With no luck, she went to another target. still no luck. she called a few other targets and it was discontinued. The shower wasnt that long ago and itwas on our registry. she even called the manufacturer.. and it was no longer being made. She spoke with one lady at Target and explained the situation. The lady promised debra that she would look for one. There was 1 blanket left, and Debra's mom went to get it for us. A tender mercy that the Lord provided. Sounds silly.. but I love that blanket.. and now no one else can.. cause Kyndal has the last one :)
The big pink flower that Kyndal wore most of the time was given to us by Rian the day we found out Kyndal was a girl. She brought pink cupcakes and this pink flower barrett. I wore it the day of my baby shower not having anything else pink to wear. It looked big in my hair, but I didnt mind. It was the flower we took with us to the hospital too, and she wore it. Then I wore it the day of Kyndals funeral. It is fun to look at that flower that is in my bathroom as I blowdry my hair.. a reminder of Kyndal.
Now that my makeup is on my face, and the kids are outta control, I'd better call this good for now. We are heading to the cemetary.. but first a stop to get some balloons for the kids to release for her. We are picking out pumpkins and going to the farmers market for some fruits and veggies.. ( that my kids wont eat by the way) Blades is working this afternoon, so we are doing our family home evening this morning..